I recently met a friend for coffee, and we spend a couple hours enjoying the air-conditioning and great conversation. Two things struck me about our time together- first, that fellowship is not only refreshing and enjoyable but also necessary, and secondly, that I am not alone in my confusion and concerns regarding the future. Talking with my friend reminded me that the worries about paying off student loans, managing car repairs when money is tight, determining a career path, figuring out living arrangements, and finding one’s calling in life are all a natural part of adjusting to life as an adult. There is no easy way to transition from the relative ease of youth- when parents pay for groceries and gas, and getting a date to prom is your most pressing concern- to the beautiful but brutal realm of adulthood, with its car payments, college tuition, career choices, relationship struggles, and identity crisis. There comes a time when you realize that in a few semesters time, having a job will not be simply your source of income for social activities and study-group snacks, but your means of survival. For all the choices that we young adults have to make, whether or not to have a career is one of them.
The realization that a career is nonnegotiable can cause panic in many college students. The search for the “perfect” job begins. Of course, no one will agree on precisely what makes a career right for someone, but like the inevitable necessity of a career, I have come to realize there is a nonnegotiable factor in choosing which kind of career one pursues. You must find joy and purpose in your work. You simply have to. A job without joy or purpose will drain you, and when your work leaves you depleted emotionally and mentally, the other parts of your life will suffer as well. Most people have been told often that they should choose a career that they love, doing something they are passionate about that makes them excited to go to work each day. I had an experience this summer that deeply reinforced that truth. I was lucky enough in this economy (with California’s wretched 12% unemployment rate) to find a job in May at a local retailer that sells body-care products. While having a source of income is a blessing I don’t take for granted, the work itself is truly dreadful. I dread each shift, count down the minutes while I am there, and leave work feeling as though my soul has had a bit of life sucked out of it. (This is my first time working in retail, and I guarantee you it will be my last.) Contrast this with the hostess job I got two weeks ago at a local Italian restaurant. I am excited for each shift, the work is fast-paced and exciting, and I never have to remind myself to smile. I love the interaction I have with each guest (and most coworkers), and I feel energized by my time at the restaurant. I leave each shift with a smile on my face and look forward to the next time I get to work.
The incredible contrast between my jobs has taught me how important it is to choose a career that you love. I understand that adulthood and real life come with responsibilities, and sometimes doing what you love is not enough to pay the bills. Of course it is important to consider financial stability when considering a career. But a job should not rob your soul while paying the bills. Your vocation may not be your calling, but it can and should be something that you find meaningful and enriching. I certainly do not think my calling nor career is in the restaurant business, but it is has taught me how I want to feel about any job I have from this point on. Everyone is unique, and what bores one person to tears will excite another like nothing else, so I do not think there is one, or five, or even twenty jobs that could be considered a standard for the “ideal” career. But there as many different kinds of work out there as there are folks to do them, so get out there. Explore. Figure out what makes you come alive. Then go do it.
There are plenty of choices we have to make as we launch from college into the real world- whether or not to be love what we do for the next 50 years should not be one of them.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Walking in Grace
How different would your life be if you knew, for sure and for certain, that every one of your mistakes, shortcomings, and failures were utterly and completely forgiven? Would your attitude be different? Would you hold your head a little higher, stand a little straighter? Would you be bolder in your actions and braver in your choices? Would your relationships be deeper or more abundant? Would your prayers sound different at all?
We all have an innate sense of justice, which compels us to make right what we can and causes us feel unsettled when things are not as they should be. It is this inner compass of righteousness that can make it difficult to reconcile the reality of God’s grace with the reality of our own wretchedness. We know that we deserve none of the compassion or mercy that He offers us. The bruises and blood, the torn flesh and splintered skin, the nail-scarred hands and feet- it is all rightfully mine. The eternal life, the beauty of heaven, the inheritance of spiritual riches, the intimacy with God, and the place in His kingdom as one of His own- those all rightfully belong to Jesus Christ. We deserve none of it. And yet, in His infinite goodness, the Lord of Righteousness chose to do something decidedly unfair. He did the unthinkable, taking the whips and the thorns that were mine to endure, the agony and the shame that I deserve. He took my wretchedness and He took my blame, and He obliterated all of it. And if that were not unthinkable enough, He offered me a place in His own kingdom, as His own child. Jesus endured the suffering that was meant to be mine, and at the same time offered me that which is rightfully His. I am pardoned because He took my punishment, and it is not fair- it is mercy.
So why, I ask you, is it that I still feel the compelled to attempt to justify each of my failures? I know that I am forgiven for all my failings- past, present, and yet to come- but I still try to “make up for” my mistakes and imperfections. My mind knows that my penance is not only ineffective but eternally unnecessary, but my heart will not let me rest until pain has been felt or payment given out. How can I praise God for His grace and compassion that He gives freely when I am living as though I must earn it? I am convinced that I am not alone in this struggle, as we all have within us that compass that tells us what is right and what is wrong. It makes clear the fact that we are wrong, and God is right, so when He invites us to join Him on His side, we are amazed and grateful, but also befuddled. We cannot fathom the kind of love He must have for us in order to do what He did and offer what He does. Everything in us cries out to be with Him- because we inwardly know that we were made for Him- but that nagging voice persists in its attempts to convince us that we belong elsewhere. This is where our struggle starts.
It is all too common that we grab ahold of God’s mercy without letting Him break off the chains that bind us. We have grown accustomed to the shackles of our history, and we fear the discomfort that may come with the breaking of our chains. Our frail humanity urges to cling to both the mercy of God and the shame of our past. But it is impossible because the very purpose of God’s mercy is to free us from the past. It’s as though we say, “I believe You, God! I want your forgiveness, and I want You to reign in my life, and I’m going to follow you with all I’ve got! …Oh, but You don’t mind if I bring my past with me, right?” Of course He minds! It is His own body and blood He gave up in payment to buy us back from the devil we sold ourselves to, so how dare we leave the chains of such slavery dangling from our hands as reminders of the life we knew! We are not the people we used to be, and we will not become the people we were meant to be if we remain shackled to our past. If we clutch the chains that held us captive or if we struggle to break the fetters by our own strength, we are declaring His work at Calvary ineffective. All we must do to be free is lift our hands in surrender so He can free us, and leave the chains where they fall and walk with Him. We are to walk not as slaves, but as children of the King. We are to walk in grace. It is not what we deserve, but it is what He has chosen for us.
It is not fair, because it is merciful.
Because the Lord of Righteousness is also the King of Grace.
source
We all have an innate sense of justice, which compels us to make right what we can and causes us feel unsettled when things are not as they should be. It is this inner compass of righteousness that can make it difficult to reconcile the reality of God’s grace with the reality of our own wretchedness. We know that we deserve none of the compassion or mercy that He offers us. The bruises and blood, the torn flesh and splintered skin, the nail-scarred hands and feet- it is all rightfully mine. The eternal life, the beauty of heaven, the inheritance of spiritual riches, the intimacy with God, and the place in His kingdom as one of His own- those all rightfully belong to Jesus Christ. We deserve none of it. And yet, in His infinite goodness, the Lord of Righteousness chose to do something decidedly unfair. He did the unthinkable, taking the whips and the thorns that were mine to endure, the agony and the shame that I deserve. He took my wretchedness and He took my blame, and He obliterated all of it. And if that were not unthinkable enough, He offered me a place in His own kingdom, as His own child. Jesus endured the suffering that was meant to be mine, and at the same time offered me that which is rightfully His. I am pardoned because He took my punishment, and it is not fair- it is mercy.
So why, I ask you, is it that I still feel the compelled to attempt to justify each of my failures? I know that I am forgiven for all my failings- past, present, and yet to come- but I still try to “make up for” my mistakes and imperfections. My mind knows that my penance is not only ineffective but eternally unnecessary, but my heart will not let me rest until pain has been felt or payment given out. How can I praise God for His grace and compassion that He gives freely when I am living as though I must earn it? I am convinced that I am not alone in this struggle, as we all have within us that compass that tells us what is right and what is wrong. It makes clear the fact that we are wrong, and God is right, so when He invites us to join Him on His side, we are amazed and grateful, but also befuddled. We cannot fathom the kind of love He must have for us in order to do what He did and offer what He does. Everything in us cries out to be with Him- because we inwardly know that we were made for Him- but that nagging voice persists in its attempts to convince us that we belong elsewhere. This is where our struggle starts.
It is all too common that we grab ahold of God’s mercy without letting Him break off the chains that bind us. We have grown accustomed to the shackles of our history, and we fear the discomfort that may come with the breaking of our chains. Our frail humanity urges to cling to both the mercy of God and the shame of our past. But it is impossible because the very purpose of God’s mercy is to free us from the past. It’s as though we say, “I believe You, God! I want your forgiveness, and I want You to reign in my life, and I’m going to follow you with all I’ve got! …Oh, but You don’t mind if I bring my past with me, right?” Of course He minds! It is His own body and blood He gave up in payment to buy us back from the devil we sold ourselves to, so how dare we leave the chains of such slavery dangling from our hands as reminders of the life we knew! We are not the people we used to be, and we will not become the people we were meant to be if we remain shackled to our past. If we clutch the chains that held us captive or if we struggle to break the fetters by our own strength, we are declaring His work at Calvary ineffective. All we must do to be free is lift our hands in surrender so He can free us, and leave the chains where they fall and walk with Him. We are to walk not as slaves, but as children of the King. We are to walk in grace. It is not what we deserve, but it is what He has chosen for us.
It is not fair, because it is merciful.
Because the Lord of Righteousness is also the King of Grace.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
The Echo
Blood leaves its unmistakable smell in the dusty air. Sweat beads along your forehead and upper lip under the relentless heat of the sun. Your heart pounds audibly with a force that can be matched only by the terror flooding your veins. The chatter of soldiers and onlookers cannot drown out the heavy cadence of your fears.
It takes everything in you, but finally you arrive at the front of the crowd. From this distance, you can hear the soft sound of a woman weeping not fifty yards away. You lower your head, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. It’s ridiculous, you know it, but you hope against all logic and reason that you will not be recognized. He knows what you did. The sweat is pouring down your back now, but you no longer notice the heat, although the sun is still high in the sky. Instead your feel a chill that cuts through to the marrow of your bones. You shiver violently. He knows what you did. Your treason stretches out in your mind, a panorama of betrayal and rebellion. Time rolls by slowly as you stand there, unaware of anything but your own guilt and fear and the horrific sight of scarlet streams sliding through the sand before you. He knows what you did. Perhaps it is minutes or perhaps it is an hour before you abruptly become aware. He is watching you.
For a moment you are utterly still. You don’t breathe, you don’t think, you don’t feel your heart beat. And for the first time, you don’t hear the heavy footsteps of shame sounding in your head. You realize that you don't have a choice, and the impossible happens. You look up.
You see the wood stained red. You see the body that is flogged beyond recognition. You see the pools of blood on the ground. But that is not where you fix your gaze, because from under a thorny crown, His eyes find yours. He knows. You wait for the wrath you know you deserve. As you stand there, motionlessly looking into the bruised, blood-covered face, you see His lips move. It is barely a whisper, but His words are unmistakable.
“For you.”
And with that, the condemning cadence is silenced. In its place is the heartbeat of Love, echoing through all eternity.
“For you…”
“For you...”
“For you…”
He knows what you did.You creep forward, pressing against the wall of fear that pushes against you. The crowd has thinned considerably in the past few hours, but there are enough people left for you to hide yourself amongst them. You keep your eyes on the ground before you, not daring to look up. The nonchalant voices around you swell as you push deeper and deeper into the gathering of bodies. No one else seems very affected by the events playing out before them. Laughter rings out, harsh and acidic, from the gather of soldiers up ahead. As you walk, you notice a crimson trickle winding its way down the hill, and you struggle to force back the nausea that rushes into your gut. You hear the cadence louder now. He knows what you did. The sounds and the smells and the heat all increase with each step you take. But you know it is not really the cacophony or the stench or the scorching sun that are keeping you from taking a full breath. It is the leaden fingers of guilt that have wound themselves around your neck, squeezing tighter and tighter until you are not sure you can take it anymore. He knows what you did.
He knows what you did.
He knows what you did.
It takes everything in you, but finally you arrive at the front of the crowd. From this distance, you can hear the soft sound of a woman weeping not fifty yards away. You lower your head, trying to stay as inconspicuous as possible. It’s ridiculous, you know it, but you hope against all logic and reason that you will not be recognized. He knows what you did. The sweat is pouring down your back now, but you no longer notice the heat, although the sun is still high in the sky. Instead your feel a chill that cuts through to the marrow of your bones. You shiver violently. He knows what you did. Your treason stretches out in your mind, a panorama of betrayal and rebellion. Time rolls by slowly as you stand there, unaware of anything but your own guilt and fear and the horrific sight of scarlet streams sliding through the sand before you. He knows what you did. Perhaps it is minutes or perhaps it is an hour before you abruptly become aware. He is watching you.
For a moment you are utterly still. You don’t breathe, you don’t think, you don’t feel your heart beat. And for the first time, you don’t hear the heavy footsteps of shame sounding in your head. You realize that you don't have a choice, and the impossible happens. You look up.
You see the wood stained red. You see the body that is flogged beyond recognition. You see the pools of blood on the ground. But that is not where you fix your gaze, because from under a thorny crown, His eyes find yours. He knows. You wait for the wrath you know you deserve. As you stand there, motionlessly looking into the bruised, blood-covered face, you see His lips move. It is barely a whisper, but His words are unmistakable.
“For you.”
And with that, the condemning cadence is silenced. In its place is the heartbeat of Love, echoing through all eternity.
“For you…”
“For you...”
“For you…”
Friday, December 31, 2010
Finding It
(This is the beautiful journal I received from a friend for Christmas...Writing is one of my "sweet spots.")
Surely we have all experienced one of those moments when we truly come alive, awake to the part of ourselves that we did not know existed. If you’ve encountered this kind of thing, you know it’s a thrill like no other. It’s not an adrenaline high like sky-diving or bungee-jumping, but it’s the rush of doing what you were specifically created to do. As far as our reason for living goes, we all have the same general purpose- to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with the Lord- but exactly what that looks like is determined by each person’s unique purpose. For some, that may be serving in a political office, exemplifying integrity in a corrupt sphere. For a different person that might mean saving lives as a pediatric oncologist. For yet another person, it could be going into the mission field and dedicating his life to sharing Christ with those who don’t know Him. Each of us was created with a combination of talents and desires unlike those of anyone else, and each of us has a unique reason for being on this earth. Often we find our reason for being here when we look within ourselves at the true desires of our hearts, the fragile dreams that we often keep secret rather than expose to the scrutiny of the world. It is there, where your yearning is keenest and your longing the greatest, that you can discover what you were made to do.
So often we stifle our hopes for the spectacular and ambitious, instead settling for what we know is safe and attainable. We become practiced and skilled at convincing ourselves that the things we long for are not what we need or what is best for us. At times, we’re completely right (no, you do need to buy a BMW, eat an entire cake, or bear Ryan Reynold’s children), but in other instances I think we need to pay more attention to desires that may very well be put in us by the Creator Himself. I love what Oswald Chambers had to say about this:
“If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled.”
Take a moment to think about the times when you have felt most alive, most like you were fulfilling the purpose you were created for. Don’t you find that in those moments, you tasted the fulfillment of those things that you had most hoped for and dreamed of? It’s a precious thing. If you haven’t found it yet, keep dreaming and keep searching, because it’s out there. Your passion, your purpose, your sweet spot, or whatever else you want to call it- when you find it, hang on fiercely and don’t let go.
Have you found it yet?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Joyful and Triumphant
You may not see it or hear it, but there is a war raging. It is the longest and most ferocious battle the world has ever seen, with more casualties than can be counted. On one side are the forces of darkness, Satan and his minions, and on the other is God, all His angels and everything that is good. They’re fighting over you.
God Almighty is madly, passionately in love with you. He has been since He first conceived of you, since He breathed life into you and arranged every particle of your body just so. You were made to love Him. But as it is, there is one who despises Him- Lucifer, that first fallen angel, Satan. As everyone knows, the best way to hurt someone is to take away that which is most precious to him. And thus, you have become the target of Satan’s sweetest lies and cruelest affections. His goal is to seduce you, to lure you away from God and to himself because he knows that you are what God loves most. It is here that the battle begins.
Time and again, God warned you of Satan’s schemes. Oh, did He warn you. But you didn’t heed the warnings of the Most High, and you ran straight into the arms of evil. In fact, you even enjoyed it. You relished every rendezvous, savored each moment of spiritual death, and told yourself that nothing that felt so good could be wrong. And every time, each illicit meeting ended the same way, with you at God’s feet begging Him to take you back. In His mercy, He said yes. Because He is a God of justice, He said a price had to be paid. For centuries, countless sacrifices were made for your sake. Satan is persistent though, and you were weak. And so the cycle continued, with you continually forsaking the One who loved you beyond comprehension for a tawdry affair with evil.
He is relentless. His love for you is so great that despite your sordid betrayal, He was still unwilling to hand you over to the enemy. He fought for you, often in a battle you were oblivious to. And as this battle wore on, your love of treason grew greater. Finally the time came. The King set into motion the breathtaking battle tactic that would bring a sure and final victory. This tactic had been prepared since the first time you let Satan have his way with you, because He knew you could not fight the battle for yourself. And on a cold night in Bethlehem, God Himself marched quietly and solemnly down to the frontlines.
Thirty-some years later, Satan thought he had won. There was the King, betrayed yet again, naked on a cross, beat and bloodied beyond recognition. But he hadn’t won, not at all. For as any soldier knows, to draw the blood of a king brings grave consequences. And when the blood of the Most High King is willingly shed, it’s enough to alter eternity. Your price was paid, your relationship restored, your debauchery eliminated. It is not that your unfaithfulness was masked by His death, or that His death allowed your sin to be overlooked. No, He obliterated everything that stood between you and Himself. When you were choosing to dabble in darkness, you had unknowingly become a prisoner of war. His sacrifice broke the bounds of the natural world, surpassed time and space and the devil himself to wrench the chains of death from about your neck. He paid your ransom by offering Himself, and in the purest display of love that has no limits, He offered you the greatest gift- His life for you to share in for eternity.
He has fought for you, He has died for you, and He has risen for you. There may be more battles, but the war has been won. Nothing- not death, not life, not your past, not your future, not the greatest powers of evil- can ever separate you from Him. That victory is a gift great enough to last for eternity.
The King is triumphant, and you have reason to be joyful.
God Almighty is madly, passionately in love with you. He has been since He first conceived of you, since He breathed life into you and arranged every particle of your body just so. You were made to love Him. But as it is, there is one who despises Him- Lucifer, that first fallen angel, Satan. As everyone knows, the best way to hurt someone is to take away that which is most precious to him. And thus, you have become the target of Satan’s sweetest lies and cruelest affections. His goal is to seduce you, to lure you away from God and to himself because he knows that you are what God loves most. It is here that the battle begins.
Time and again, God warned you of Satan’s schemes. Oh, did He warn you. But you didn’t heed the warnings of the Most High, and you ran straight into the arms of evil. In fact, you even enjoyed it. You relished every rendezvous, savored each moment of spiritual death, and told yourself that nothing that felt so good could be wrong. And every time, each illicit meeting ended the same way, with you at God’s feet begging Him to take you back. In His mercy, He said yes. Because He is a God of justice, He said a price had to be paid. For centuries, countless sacrifices were made for your sake. Satan is persistent though, and you were weak. And so the cycle continued, with you continually forsaking the One who loved you beyond comprehension for a tawdry affair with evil.
He is relentless. His love for you is so great that despite your sordid betrayal, He was still unwilling to hand you over to the enemy. He fought for you, often in a battle you were oblivious to. And as this battle wore on, your love of treason grew greater. Finally the time came. The King set into motion the breathtaking battle tactic that would bring a sure and final victory. This tactic had been prepared since the first time you let Satan have his way with you, because He knew you could not fight the battle for yourself. And on a cold night in Bethlehem, God Himself marched quietly and solemnly down to the frontlines.
Thirty-some years later, Satan thought he had won. There was the King, betrayed yet again, naked on a cross, beat and bloodied beyond recognition. But he hadn’t won, not at all. For as any soldier knows, to draw the blood of a king brings grave consequences. And when the blood of the Most High King is willingly shed, it’s enough to alter eternity. Your price was paid, your relationship restored, your debauchery eliminated. It is not that your unfaithfulness was masked by His death, or that His death allowed your sin to be overlooked. No, He obliterated everything that stood between you and Himself. When you were choosing to dabble in darkness, you had unknowingly become a prisoner of war. His sacrifice broke the bounds of the natural world, surpassed time and space and the devil himself to wrench the chains of death from about your neck. He paid your ransom by offering Himself, and in the purest display of love that has no limits, He offered you the greatest gift- His life for you to share in for eternity.
He has fought for you, He has died for you, and He has risen for you. There may be more battles, but the war has been won. Nothing- not death, not life, not your past, not your future, not the greatest powers of evil- can ever separate you from Him. That victory is a gift great enough to last for eternity.
The King is triumphant, and you have reason to be joyful.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thankful
Something that I have been learning over the past year is the art of gratitude. It is more than simply giving thanks for friends, family, and good health. It is about remembering with every breath from Whom all blessings flow, delighting in even the most inconspicuous of treasures, being constantly in awe of the goodness of your God. It is about living each moment in the knowledge that you deserve nothing, yet have been given everything.
A gratitude journal, in which one simply jots down daily a list of things for which he is thankful, is a wonderful way to practice the art of gratitude. What better day than today to practice?
Today, I am especially grateful for…
…the breathtaking arrival of autumn in all its golden-hued splendor. The copper, amber, rust, and gold leaves are exquisite confetti, annointing the grass, the sidewalk, the streets, announcing the arrival of autumn. Every cloudy breath is frosty spotlight, every puddle a stage for the raindrops' waltz. In what other season are we treated to such a vibrant visual feast?
…my jobs. As busy as it makes my days, as difficult as it makes it to schedule anything, I am blessed to be employed, especially in this economy. Every time I buy groceries or get emails reminding me that tuition payments are due, I am reminded of how glad I am to be working.
…whoever found my iPod at the gym yesterday and decided to turn it in to the front desk rather than taking it home and considering it an early Christmas gift.
…family. My family can be strange, I’ll admit it. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Those dinners where you hardly eat anything because the whole time you’re overcome by laughter- the kind that leaves you teary-eyed and red in the face, makes every muscle in your belly cramp up, and leaves you wishing you hadn’t drank that last glass of water- they’re priceless. I love that even when I’m without a stitch of makeup and my hair texture is scarily similar to Richard Simmons’, they still want me in the family photos. They’ve seen me through my awkward years (still waiting for the light at the end of that tunnel, but I’m hopeful!), they’ve seen when I wake up in the morning, they’ve seen me when I’m on my worst behavior, and they’ve been the recipients of my less-than-Christ-like actions more times than I’d like to recall. But by the grace of God, they still love me.
…the pumpkin smoothie I had for breakfast this morning. So much goodness (and beta carotene) in a single wine goblet! And yes, I had my smoothie in a wine goblet and ate it with a spoon. The goblet because I’m classy like that, and the spoon because…well, I couldn’t find a straw, and a spoon was the next best thing.
…this country. What a blessing to be born in the birthplace of freedom. Too often I take for granted how blessed I am to be able to go to church, sing songs of praise, pray in public, and talk about God without any fear of being arrested or imprisoned or worse. I don’t particularly desire to own any sort of firearm, but if I were to be overtaken by the urge to buy one, I could. As a woman, I can go in public with my face exposed, I can be employed, I can get an education, and I can choose who I marry and when I get married. I look at Old Glory flying high and proud and know that it’s is because countless men and women have loved this country enough to give everything they had to ensure the liberty and safety of America’s people. In light of the recent events playing out in South Korea, I am once again reminded that, despite her faults, America really is the best nation in the world.
…the twenty years that I was privileged to know Charles Talley, Jr. He encouraged my love for writing and my faith in the Lord, and I only hope he’s proud of my progress in both areas. He was the best grandfather and one of the most Christ-like, honorable men I have ever known, and it was impossible to be around him without laughing and knowing that you were loved.
…this semester. I have been challenged, stripped of pretenses, and thrown in the deep end, and through it all, I’m learning to tread the waters of adulthood. I have experienced the tremendous blessing of being a part of the Student Leadership team, which has been a great part of my growth this semester. I have refined current relationships, forged new friendships, and met people whose role in my life I can’t predict, but I’m better for knowing them. It has been a tumultuous four months, but my heads about the water and I’m still swimming.
…sleep. I’ve always enjoyed a good nine hours, but now that I have become acquainted with the joys of working the morning shift at a coffeehouse (do you know what waking up at 4am does to your circadian rhythm? Not to mention the circles under your eyes…), I have a completely new appreciation for my REM cycle.
…Love, Light, Logos. The Lamb, the Rabbi, the Messiah. His names were many, His purpose was one- to redeem those He loved beyond the limits of time and space and life itself. That He would cherish me enough to take the punishment I deserve, in order that He could offer me that of which I am not worthy. That He could know me more than I know myself, that He could see the ugliest and most base parts of who I am and still deem me valuable enough to die for. That He would see me drowning in the miry depths of my own sin and still reach out His holy, nail-pierced hands to lift me into His kingdom of grace. When it comes to Him, I will never be able to fully express my gratitude.
Tell me, on this celebrated day, what are you thankful for?
A gratitude journal, in which one simply jots down daily a list of things for which he is thankful, is a wonderful way to practice the art of gratitude. What better day than today to practice?
Today, I am especially grateful for…
…the breathtaking arrival of autumn in all its golden-hued splendor. The copper, amber, rust, and gold leaves are exquisite confetti, annointing the grass, the sidewalk, the streets, announcing the arrival of autumn. Every cloudy breath is frosty spotlight, every puddle a stage for the raindrops' waltz. In what other season are we treated to such a vibrant visual feast?
…my jobs. As busy as it makes my days, as difficult as it makes it to schedule anything, I am blessed to be employed, especially in this economy. Every time I buy groceries or get emails reminding me that tuition payments are due, I am reminded of how glad I am to be working.
…whoever found my iPod at the gym yesterday and decided to turn it in to the front desk rather than taking it home and considering it an early Christmas gift.
…family. My family can be strange, I’ll admit it. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Those dinners where you hardly eat anything because the whole time you’re overcome by laughter- the kind that leaves you teary-eyed and red in the face, makes every muscle in your belly cramp up, and leaves you wishing you hadn’t drank that last glass of water- they’re priceless. I love that even when I’m without a stitch of makeup and my hair texture is scarily similar to Richard Simmons’, they still want me in the family photos. They’ve seen me through my awkward years (still waiting for the light at the end of that tunnel, but I’m hopeful!), they’ve seen when I wake up in the morning, they’ve seen me when I’m on my worst behavior, and they’ve been the recipients of my less-than-Christ-like actions more times than I’d like to recall. But by the grace of God, they still love me.
…the pumpkin smoothie I had for breakfast this morning. So much goodness (and beta carotene) in a single wine goblet! And yes, I had my smoothie in a wine goblet and ate it with a spoon. The goblet because I’m classy like that, and the spoon because…well, I couldn’t find a straw, and a spoon was the next best thing.
…this country. What a blessing to be born in the birthplace of freedom. Too often I take for granted how blessed I am to be able to go to church, sing songs of praise, pray in public, and talk about God without any fear of being arrested or imprisoned or worse. I don’t particularly desire to own any sort of firearm, but if I were to be overtaken by the urge to buy one, I could. As a woman, I can go in public with my face exposed, I can be employed, I can get an education, and I can choose who I marry and when I get married. I look at Old Glory flying high and proud and know that it’s is because countless men and women have loved this country enough to give everything they had to ensure the liberty and safety of America’s people. In light of the recent events playing out in South Korea, I am once again reminded that, despite her faults, America really is the best nation in the world.
…the twenty years that I was privileged to know Charles Talley, Jr. He encouraged my love for writing and my faith in the Lord, and I only hope he’s proud of my progress in both areas. He was the best grandfather and one of the most Christ-like, honorable men I have ever known, and it was impossible to be around him without laughing and knowing that you were loved.
…this semester. I have been challenged, stripped of pretenses, and thrown in the deep end, and through it all, I’m learning to tread the waters of adulthood. I have experienced the tremendous blessing of being a part of the Student Leadership team, which has been a great part of my growth this semester. I have refined current relationships, forged new friendships, and met people whose role in my life I can’t predict, but I’m better for knowing them. It has been a tumultuous four months, but my heads about the water and I’m still swimming.
…sleep. I’ve always enjoyed a good nine hours, but now that I have become acquainted with the joys of working the morning shift at a coffeehouse (do you know what waking up at 4am does to your circadian rhythm? Not to mention the circles under your eyes…), I have a completely new appreciation for my REM cycle.
…Love, Light, Logos. The Lamb, the Rabbi, the Messiah. His names were many, His purpose was one- to redeem those He loved beyond the limits of time and space and life itself. That He would cherish me enough to take the punishment I deserve, in order that He could offer me that of which I am not worthy. That He could know me more than I know myself, that He could see the ugliest and most base parts of who I am and still deem me valuable enough to die for. That He would see me drowning in the miry depths of my own sin and still reach out His holy, nail-pierced hands to lift me into His kingdom of grace. When it comes to Him, I will never be able to fully express my gratitude.
Tell me, on this celebrated day, what are you thankful for?
Monday, November 22, 2010
Fear
We are afraid of what we cannot control. If we did not plan it, prepare for it, and chart a course for it, we don’t want it. And the idea of being led into unfamiliar territory is terrifying. If God is the One guiding us along this uncharted trail, then what do we have to fear? We can rest in the assurance that His plans are good, helpful, filled with hope for the future (Jeremiah 29:11). But we’re still scared, aren’t we? It is impossible to imagine forsaking the trail we know so well, the one we've grown accustomed to, the trail we've waited our whole life to hike, all to venture into the untamed, uncontrolled, and unknown. We are so scared of relinquishing the reigns of our life that if forced to choose between our own plans with which we are familiar, and Someone’s plans which are unfamiliar to us but which have been promised to be amazing, we will often choose our own plans. If we are going to have a fantastic future, we want to be in charge. We want to know exactly what wonderful things are headed our way, precisely when each terrific occasion is scheduled to occur. And sometimes our craving to keep control outweighs our desire for that fabulous, hope-filled future that is ours to be claimed.
There will always be reasons to stick to your own plans. When you’re scared to trade in what you had planned for what God’s got for you, the reasons will jump out at you from around every corner, seducing you with their promises of comfort and complacency. Trust me, I know. For the past several months I have been wrestling with some major choices, one of them involved a choice between staying and going. I kept finding reasons to go, to leave…recently God showed me that I’ve been trying to run. I’ve been able to find so many reasons to leave, so many reasons to change, because I have been afraid that God’s plans might not include my own. To stay would mean to need to put in the effort to continue to explore the path God’s set me on, the discipline to navigate my way through obstacles and challenges I had never thought to prepare for. In short, to stay would be to have to conform to a new plan, one that I didn’t grow up dreaming about, one that wouldn’t go the way I had imagined it would. But time and again, God has shown me how much greater His plans are compared to mine. In this case, His plans are nothing like mine- they’re so much better.
There is no denying that the thought of breaking out of complacent, secure dreams of the future and stepping into the unknown is terrifying. We all long to be tightly wrapped in the arms of safety and stability, but we have to ask ourselves if we are searching in the right places for this comfort? Are the plans that we construct without the boundaries of our own knowledge and faith enough to keep the wild world from touching us? Or do we need something stronger, a script written by Someone omnipotent and omniscient? We can’t let the flames of fear burn so hot and so high that they torch the bridge between us and the future handcrafted by God. If fear keeps us from walking across that bridge, if it forces us to take a detour rather than stay on the path laid out for us by the Almighty Himself, then we have let the Enemy have the upper hand. But our God has called Himself the Living Water for a reason, and it is by His grace and in His strength that we find the courage that douses fear’s flames and turns a fiery impasse into a course we can walk with confidence.
The thought of surrendering control is scary, but the thought of relying on the my own plans rather than the plans of the Alpha and Omega, the One who spoke creation into being, the God who knows my thoughts before I think them?
Well that, my friends, is terrifying.
There will always be reasons to stick to your own plans. When you’re scared to trade in what you had planned for what God’s got for you, the reasons will jump out at you from around every corner, seducing you with their promises of comfort and complacency. Trust me, I know. For the past several months I have been wrestling with some major choices, one of them involved a choice between staying and going. I kept finding reasons to go, to leave…recently God showed me that I’ve been trying to run. I’ve been able to find so many reasons to leave, so many reasons to change, because I have been afraid that God’s plans might not include my own. To stay would mean to need to put in the effort to continue to explore the path God’s set me on, the discipline to navigate my way through obstacles and challenges I had never thought to prepare for. In short, to stay would be to have to conform to a new plan, one that I didn’t grow up dreaming about, one that wouldn’t go the way I had imagined it would. But time and again, God has shown me how much greater His plans are compared to mine. In this case, His plans are nothing like mine- they’re so much better.
There is no denying that the thought of breaking out of complacent, secure dreams of the future and stepping into the unknown is terrifying. We all long to be tightly wrapped in the arms of safety and stability, but we have to ask ourselves if we are searching in the right places for this comfort? Are the plans that we construct without the boundaries of our own knowledge and faith enough to keep the wild world from touching us? Or do we need something stronger, a script written by Someone omnipotent and omniscient? We can’t let the flames of fear burn so hot and so high that they torch the bridge between us and the future handcrafted by God. If fear keeps us from walking across that bridge, if it forces us to take a detour rather than stay on the path laid out for us by the Almighty Himself, then we have let the Enemy have the upper hand. But our God has called Himself the Living Water for a reason, and it is by His grace and in His strength that we find the courage that douses fear’s flames and turns a fiery impasse into a course we can walk with confidence.
The thought of surrendering control is scary, but the thought of relying on the my own plans rather than the plans of the Alpha and Omega, the One who spoke creation into being, the God who knows my thoughts before I think them?
Well that, my friends, is terrifying.
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